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The ladies of Nubian Life

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Nubian Life Our ladies are strong, proud women; women, who have owned businesses, raised families and cared for others.

To find yourself in a state of confusion and be aware that something is not quite right is tough on the strong, proud woman.

Add to that the inability to put a name to the faces of those who know you as Friend, Mother and Wife; this can only lead to a realm of mixed emotions.

Pour on that the loss of identity and worth, you can no longer do the things you need to do or the very things you desire to do.

Top it off with being shunned by your peers in a community that calls you demented and mad. You have now officially lost the proverbial plot.

Sprinkle that with the public's misunderstanding of the condition and you have the just desserts of a woman left feeling ashamed and empty, the value she once had now has little worth. In these cases "time is not the healer" it is the destroyer of the things we hold dear.

How we to explore this for ourselves? How are we to make sense of this for ourselves when we have to define ourselves by others' expectations?

The women we work with are given the space to explore their feelings and how they are coping with life in various ways. I can theorize and give you the usual rhetoric about this subject but I believe these ladies can represent themselves as follows at the end of my prose.

There is a scripture that says: From the heart, so the mouth speaks; in other words, the things that are dear to you are the things that you will speak about.

The first lady is angry; she has seemingly random outbursts and will challenge everybody who doesn't agree with her. However, it is her outbursts at herself that tell the story of a grieving woman who has been displaced as she no longer holds the position of the Matriarch within her family.

The second poem reflects this lady's concerns about her position as the wife who perhaps no longer feels the equal of her spouse. She constantly talks about him, worries about him and always needs to go home to see that he is alright.

The third lady finds solace in her faith; it is her go to place, when confused she reads her Bible, when upset she reads her Bible, when she is searching for peace it is her go to place.

As women we are complex, manifold creatures that demand respect, but if we have lost the very things that give us that respect where does that leave us?

Poem: I'm lost by LG

I get very tense recently
I am alone
I am angry and lost
I miss my Mother
She's not at home
She's always at work
She comes home and rush to the kitchen
To cook
Even though I can't cook
I assume she is doing something

Poem: Mr G by EG

__________ and Mr G
He's very good to me
He helps me all the time
A very nice person
Aah! All the time
Yeah, that's right
A very nice person
He likes Donald
That's it
He's very brainy
Thank you! Yes

Poem: Be Still and Know by MF

There is a hum in the air
There is a bird on the wing
It sings a very sad song, saying
Be still and know
Be still and know that there is a God
He speaks to the trees
Be still and know
Be still and know that there is a God
Be still and know that there is an invincible God
Be still and know that there i

Andrea Lemard, Nubian Life info@nubianlife.org.uk

Tags: relationships, representations of women, spirituality, women with dementia Written 2014-10-08

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